Dude, I'm Batman
by midnightskyrose
Summary: Oneshot AU post escape. Lincoln's bored, leading to a very strange conversation...


**Summary: **Lincoln's bored, leading to a strange conversation. A/U post escape.

**Rating: **K

**Disclaimer:** Prison Break is a show that is made by FOX. FOX own all the characters and plotlines. Not me. Which makes me sad.

**A/N: **I am from England, therefore some spellings and phrases may be of English origin. Constructive criticism welcome regarding Americanisation due to the setting.

"**Dude…I'm Batman!"**

Michael sat on the wooden chair in the kitchen, looking out at his older brother sitting in the living room. Despite their situation, living in a one-room dilapidated hut in Mexico wasn't part of the plan, Michael couldn't help but smirk. They were out. And they'd been out for enough time for their story to reduce to a column on page 10. Of course there were complications, new plans needed to be made, problems needed to be sorted. But Michael felt a little easier now the public weren't being fed information 24/7 on the 'Fox River Eight'. He looked back down at his drawing pad. At all the notes and formulae. He needed to work out what to do next. Mexico wasn't even in the original plan; he needed to get them out or, failing that, substitute Mexico into the plan. Of course, he hadn't banked on getting three for two with LJ. He cursed inwardly; he should have realised Lincoln wasn't going to wait to get his son back. He leant back in the chair, steadying himself as his brain forgot that the chair wasn't in balance. Lincoln looked up and smirked as Michael threw himself forward to counter the fall.

"You can make some huge plan to get me out of prison, you can get us all the way to Mexico even though the plan went wrong, yet you forget the chair's broken…" He sniggered and went back to reading the paper.

"Linc…you can't read Spanish…" Michael shook his head and laughed to himself as Lincoln turned the page.

"It makes me feel intelligent…" he replied. "Besides, it's not that hard to make out…I think…" Lincoln squinted. "A-se-sin-nay-toe…" Michael held in his laughter as Lincoln tried to phonetically sound out the word. "Means 'murder'."

"A-ses-sin-na-toe." Michael pronounced it properly and Lincoln looked at him with a confused look on his face.

"Bless you." Michael laughed.

"A-ses-sin-na-toe. You pronounced it wrong. A-ses-sin-na-toe."

"Whatever." Michael smirked and shook his head as Lincoln turned the page. "Don't get smart with me…if it weren't for me, we wouldn't have passed those officers…you needed me." Michael turned to face him.

"Oh really?"

"Yup…" Lincoln was turning the pages too fast to even look like he was reading. "I took most of them on and you know it." Another page. "I was like Batman." Michael couldn't hold in his laughter.

"Batman?!"

"Yup."

"Please explain why you feel the need to compare yourself to Batman?!" Michael set down his pencil and flopped himself onto the moth-eaten armchair opposite the matching couch that Lincoln was lying on. Notes and plans could wait; he couldn't pass up an opportunity to watch Lincoln explain himself.

"Aw come on, Michael, I took them all on single-handedly!" Lincoln threw the paper down on the floor and sat up to look at Michael. Michael bit his lip as Lincoln fixed him with one of his 'serious' looks. He was really taking this seriously, and it was making him want to laugh. But he couldn't. So he nodded, feigning interest. "It's like one of those old Batman films, when Batman K.O's all the bad guys and it's like POW, KABLAM, OOF!" Michael couldn't hold it in any longer; he laughed so much, his insides felt like they were splitting. "What?!"

"You have such a strange imagination, Linc…" Michael wiped the laughter tears from his eyes and sank back in the chair. "Besides…if anyone's Batman, it's me." Michael regretted making this offhand comment as Linc straightened up in his seat.

"You're weedy! You can't be Batman!"

"Linc, I'm the man with the plan, I'm the brains of this duo." Michael leant forward and put his chin on his clasped hands. "Like you said before, I'm the brain, you're the brute."

"Exactly why I'm Batman." Michael smirked as Lincoln continued to put forward his case. "Muscles, Mike, muscles. Brute force. That was Batman. So, therefore, I'm Batman." Michael shook his head, sat back and threw his hands up.

"Fine, fine, you're Batman…"

"Thank you." Lincoln stretched his hands up and put them behind his head. "That makes you Robin. That makes you my sidekick. My lackey. So make me a drink."

"Oh no, that's taking it too far!" Michael sat forward again. "Robin never poured Batman's soda for him; that was Alfred."

"Alfred's not here so you have to do it for me." Michael scoffed in disbelief.

"That's it! I'm Batman! You can't act like Batman, therefore you can't be Batman." Lincoln shot up and fixed him with a glare that may have scared Michael in the early years but only served to make him smirk now.

"Dude…I'm Batman."

"Guys…" Michael turned as he heard LJ's voice from the door. He rubbed the back of his neck, like he'd interrupted something important. "If there's going to be a big argument about it, I'll be Batman, sheesh!" LJ spoke with laughter in his tone and went to the counter to pour himself a drink. And, despite the fact it had all been a joke, Michael felt a bit like LJ was treating it all as a bit of a piss-take.

"LJ, you're definitely not Batman…" he said to him. "You're too short for a start…"

"Hey!" LJ turned round to face them both, his familiar 'I'm-a-teenage-boy-and-you've-pissed-me-off' look etched on his face, which only made Michael smirk. LJ had to know better by now that he would never master looking as menacing as Lincoln could sometimes.

"You're not Batman, LJ…" Lincoln leant back down and got himself comfortable before adding. "You're Batgirl." Michael almost choked as he tried to stop himself laughing as LJ's facial expression dropped to one of complete shock, offence and disbelief.

"You callin' me a girl now?!" Lincoln peered over the top of the couch at his son and, by the change of expression to one of confusion, he was obviously giving LJ one of the 'serious' looks he'd been given before.

"Dude, you're either Batgirl or we kick your ass because you'll be the Joker."

"Dad…" LJ arched his eyebrow. "You're taking this a bit too far, aren't you?" LJ looked at Michael for guidance.

"Listen to your father, LJ." Michael kept his composure as he watched his nephew sink further into confusion. "Besides, you can't be the Joker." Michael watched as both of them looked at him. "T Bag would make a better Joker." Lincoln laughed heartily while LJ just shook his head.

"Oh, and I suppose John Abruzzi would have to be our Penguin."

"I was thinking more C.O. Bellick…" Michael grinned as he watched his brother dissolve into fits of laughter.

"Um Uncle Mike…" Michael took his gaze from his brother and switched it to LJ. "Isn't this just a little bit too freaky?" Michael watched as LJ pushed his hand through his hair awkwardly. "You know…Batman and Robin aren't real and putting everyone into character…it's just a bit weird."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right, LJ." Lincoln stopped laughing and composed himself. "C.O. Bellick as Penguin is a bit freaky…" Michael tried not to laugh as he saw Lincoln's face twitch. "But I was thinking Abruzzi would make a better Two-Face."

"Dad!" Michael laughed more than he had for a couple of years as LJ exploded.

"Look, LJ, you only have a few more characters left so I'd stake your claim." Michael leant forward and LJ swallowed. "You either go for the Riddler, which means you prance about with a strange haircut and a green jumpsuit on, or there's the PVC look with a tail, or you go for the original casting of Batgirl."

"If he likes green, he can always be Poison Ivy." Lincoln chipped in.

"Dad…Mike…you're not being serious are you?!" Michael swallowed and tried to stay serious; this was too much fun.

"Make your choice, LJ." LJ scratched the back of his neck and looked at each of them in turn. Michael saw the glint in Lincoln's eyes; he was finding this as funny as he was.

"Um…" LJ averted his eyes. "Um…er…" He swallowed. "Ok…ok…I choose Batgirl."

"That's my boy!" Lincoln smacked LJ on the back and LJ shrugged his hand off.

"You two are insane, I swear to God…" He mumbled and made his exit.

"Hey, Batgirl, where you going?" Lincoln shouted after him and Michael finally allowed himself to laugh. "Batgirl! We need to go fight some crime, come back!" Michael felt his knees give way as the laughter became too much and he collapsed on the couch, tears running down his face. "Batgirl! Batgirl!" Lincoln's shouts soon turned into laughter and Mike looked to see him in the same situation as him, spread out on the armchair in tears of laughter.

"Holy Smokes, Batman, you scared that kid good." Michael managed to say through his laughter and soon enough, time seemed to fly by just through the laughter. Time didn't matter anymore. Plans, getting out, being safe, it all didn't matter anymore. Just fun, family and laughter. Living in the moment. Michael had forgotten what it was to like to just live. And damn, it felt good.


End file.
